It’s been 5 years… and I’m longing for you… I don’t think I can make it without you… I’m not myself when I’m not around you… this is so hard… I admit…
—————————
——————-
I may write a dozen of twisted things about what we had… but this misery is real. I am afraid… I will never find anyone like you… and for that reason… I will always be alone…
They said everything changes… yes it did, but soon after that… everything’s the same… I’m still me… weak, old, pathetic… nothing changes from 2004 until my last breath…
This is my private hell… a world without you… I deserved to be punished… I wasn’t brave enough… you weren’t too…
——————
Yes this is wrong… falling in love with you was so wrong… I am the damned fool…
I knew it from the beginning… falling in love with a soul in the same kind of container… only ends in misery…
They say time has changed… they say it didn’t matter who I love… I was naive, blinded by the promise that it will be right… and these kinds of love everlasts…
—————-
I don’t want closure… that is why I’m missing you so much… not even a phone call, not even a text, not even once-in-a-blue-moon-visiting my facebook page… not even a single email to say hi, greetings on holidays, on my birthdays… everybody has moved on… except me…
—————
You won’t even read this… but everybody knows how much you mean to me… you’re practically everywhere… it’s so sad that I still don’t have the courage to come to you and say what I really feel… in my heart of hearts she is not worthy of your love…
—————
I have written so many metaphorical blogs, allegorical songs, and all those crazy stuffs… but none reaches you… I have shouted your name, I have declared my love for you… but my voice doesn’t reach your heart…
—————
Somebody told me that when you dreamed about a person, that person wants to see you… then why, after all these years, you haven’t seen me…
—————
Why must we play these charades… why must you constantly remind me that I still love you… and I constantly say that I have moved passed you and tell everybody I have found a better one…
Truth is… I don’t want a better one… I want you… for real… motherfucking real…
Is it also true that you want to be loved by me
—————
Not everybody gets to live, much as not everybody gets to be loved… I don’t get to be loved by you… it’s a pity… it’s fate…
If you have only loved me as many as the times I have said I love you…
—————
Every time I hear you dating other girls, I break… and I try to pick up the pieces… but I could not do it… I’m too weak, broken, devastated…
I want to cause you pain… but my arms can’t reach you… I can’t even touch you…
It’s like I’m standing so close to you, you can’t see me, but I can see you… I can try to reach you… but it would be futile…
Cause even if I get to touch you, I know you’re a lost love…
————-
Why do I have to fall in love with you alone… why must you left me there…
————
You know who you are… you were my bestfriend… you were the other half of my soul… contained in a body of the same kind… just when I found out what LOVE really is… you were not there…
